Valentine’s day has been around since the early church and Roman times! Father Valentine was sentenced to death for continuing to marry young couples when the Roman Emperor had put a ban on marriage in order to grow his army of young single soldiers. On his dying day he sent a message to the Emperor’s daughter and signed it ‘from Valentine”.
From such a classic story, we are now overwhelmed with a multi-billion dollar marketing commercial annual event – So how can we celebrate our love relationships in a meaningful way?
If we share acts of kindness with our significant-other every day we really will have something to celebrate on Valentine’s day! You might be thinking “how could I do it every day?”. Different people express their love in different ways – understanding eachothers’ love language is key to building and sustaining a loving relationship. In the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, five distinct expressions of love are shared:
Are you and your partner speaking the same language? She gives you a hug, when what you want is a cooked meal, he brings you flowers, when what you want is a back massage! The problem is not that you have fallen out of love, it’s your love language!
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:- Whether we notice how our spouse dresses or acknowledge the work they have done can be a display of love. A ‘thank you” for providing a superb lunch for the in-laws; can turn a souring relationship around in a whisper! A phone call during the day to check how an important meeting went – all convey one thing “you are special to me and I LOVE YOU!
ACTS OF SERVICE:- Getting home in time to bath the children, so she can relax for 30 minutes; bringing him a cup of coffee in the morning; loading the dishwasher after supper rather than going straight to the TV or computer – each act of service is an act of love!
GIFTS:- A surprise gift for the one you love – it does not always have to have a large price tag attached, rather that it can be of significance – something you know she/he will really appreciate.
QUALITY TIME:- Imagine a meal with no technology or children interrupting? Create a date at home, or even better a date night out, just the two of you. Try doing this on a weekly basis and see how your relationship changes!
PHYSICAL TOUCH:- It’s easy for intimacy to get lost in the business of life! Holding hands as you walk around the shops or even watch TV. A kiss on the cheek to say thank you for a family supper. If physical touch is your language, your partner’s gentle loving touch will melt the stress of a long day away!
If you want to reignite your significant relationship, you could read The 5 Love Languages book together, or share a meaningful conversation around what you would really like the other to do as an expression of love.
If you are feeling stuck, then book a coaching package and re-discover the love you both desire.