Time // THE WORKING PARENT

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Have you ever stopped to think about “time”. What is it?

It is a measure, it is finite, day-time and night-time and another day… “There is a time to be born and a time to die….” but what value does time have in our lives?

Last week I met our grand-niece for the “first time” , three weeks old, so perfect in every way, so totally dependent on her parents for everything she needs in life. As they adjust to discovering their new roles of parenthood, she seems to need their time and attention for every minute of every day!

Last year I sat with my Dad in hospital at the wonderful age of 91 as he took his last breath, knowing that every day without my Mom for the previous 8 years had been the loneliest time of his life and nothing could change that for him.

We are conscious of time or perhaps the apparent lack of it most every day –

“I do not have time for…”
“Don’t do that, we will be late for…”
“Time is money”
“Flexi-time”
“Make time for…”
“Got to find time…”
“I will manage my time…”
“I spend my time worrying…”
“Kill time…”
“I wish I had more time because…”
“Can we make that deadline?”

But if we were to stop for just a little while and reflect on what we really count as important – what would your top three things be?

Try it right now…
1)
2)
3)
Are there a few more you would like to add?

Invariably we are seeking more time for something, something that we think would be more pleasurable or more important than what we find ourselves doing! But we still keep doing the same old thing. It’s as if we are in a groove and we do not know how to carve a new one.

Reading Robin Sharma’s latest book – Family wisdom from the Monk who sold his Ferrari brought some interesting insights from the character’s career driven sister;

“ I was tough, ruthless, ambitious, and driven –to a fault, closing down my emotional side in an effort to survive in the world I had made for myself. My life was defined by my work and I felt I was destined to reach the pinnacle of my business career and finally have the resources to afford all the material possessions I craved so deeply and to live my life on my own terms…but no matter what I tried to do to deny it, I was a completely miserable human being”

She goes on to reflect on the state of her marriage relationship describing it as “lacking any passion or emotional connection”. More than that “ we had two young children I knew were suffering as a result of my eternal absences”.

She goes on to say

“They did not say a word to me about the time I spent at the office, their eyes revealed the fullness of their disappointment and their need for a deeper connection with the woman they called MOM”.

The book continues by sharing this Mom’s incredible survival of a plane crash – that is what it took to “wake her up” and make some serious choices about how she spends each 24 hours.

What about you? How do you spend your day? Do you prioritise some time each day for the people in your life? What unspoken message are your eyes giving to the people close to you? And what are they telling you?

Some of us may not be in such high-powered, high-flying jobs as this story alludes to. You might be the sole breadwinner of your family and working two jobs just to put food on the table. But when you get home each evening, do you engage with your family? Even through your exhaustion are you able to connect with your family and show them you care?

FAMILY QUALITY TIME

Finding those moments to be interested in your partner’s day, connecting with your children to hear what happened at school; those are the moments that ensure “time does not run away” but rather they communicate, ”you are precious to me”.

About parentcoachsa

Steph has over 30 year's experience working with families to design child care solutions and supporting parents to be the best parents they can be. In addition she has worked with corporates to find work-life balance solutions for their staff. As a practitioner I have become increasingly aware that work-life balance has become a critical issue, particularly in an age in which the demands of work are often at odds with home and family life. I am passionate about family life, it is the catalyst for every other relationship we have - in every other area of life, we expect to study, get a qualification, try something on appro , we want to feel in control - however it is the one area of life, that none of the above applies - Babies do not arrive with a parenting manual! It is my privilege as a Parent and Life Coach, to partner with you as you take hold of the challenges you are facing in your family, in your life and work with you , supporting you to achieve the decisions and outcomes you are choosing for your family and for your life. It is my job, to keep you on track, to cheer you on, when the "going gets tough". Through coaching, understanding of yourself and your child, and his or her phase of development will enable you to consciously develop a parenting style that will benefit you and your family.
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