Practical Parenting: N is for

N-is-for-NoTwo words that need to be used with caution!

In a moment of raised anger, frustration or just sheer parenting exhaustion these two “N’ words roll off our tongue without even a second thought, but sometimes they commit us to extreme actions that we often regret later when things have calmed down a bit.
I remember after leaving school I had a six month job working for a family on a farm in Scotland – an “au pair” style position. They had a baby of 9 months old and as she started to crawl and subsequently walk, the farm kitchen – the hub of the home – became her adventure playground. That was fine, except it was also where the dogs slept, the big AGA oil-fired stove was and a myriad of other dangerous (for a baby) permanent fixtures were. I had to be on high alert for her safety all the time. As she shifted from babble to recognizable words we heard her say, while standing half a meter in front of the stove “NO DON’T TOUCH” as clear as anything! Those were her first words!!
Can you imagine how many times she must have heard them before she said them herself?! We need, where possible, to limit the “NO’s” by removing things that are not safe to handle and use distraction to encourage positive exploration rather than shutting down our toddlers natural curiosity with all the “No, no, no’s”.

Just for today – count how many times you can avert saying “NO” by consciously creating another pathway for your toddler, and check the result – when we are always shutting down our child’s creative curiosity, we are also creating a frustration level which over time builds up into a rage. Channeling their curiosity, keeps the positive brain chemicals pumping, and harmony around the home.

 So reserve “NO” for situations which are of safety or truth and keep “NEVER” for when you really mean it.

 

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About parentcoachsa

Steph has over 30 year's experience working with families to design child care solutions and supporting parents to be the best parents they can be. In addition she has worked with corporates to find work-life balance solutions for their staff. As a practitioner I have become increasingly aware that work-life balance has become a critical issue, particularly in an age in which the demands of work are often at odds with home and family life. I am passionate about family life, it is the catalyst for every other relationship we have - in every other area of life, we expect to study, get a qualification, try something on appro , we want to feel in control - however it is the one area of life, that none of the above applies - Babies do not arrive with a parenting manual! It is my privilege as a Parent and Life Coach, to partner with you as you take hold of the challenges you are facing in your family, in your life and work with you , supporting you to achieve the decisions and outcomes you are choosing for your family and for your life. It is my job, to keep you on track, to cheer you on, when the "going gets tough". Through coaching, understanding of yourself and your child, and his or her phase of development will enable you to consciously develop a parenting style that will benefit you and your family.
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